← Naomi's journal

Stack 4B

Tuesday, second floor, the aisle nobody uses because the books are indexes. I had the small vibe in, the remote in my cardigan pocket, a novel I was genuinely in the middle of.

A graduate student, about thirty, came down the aisle looking for a call number. I turned the vibe up and didn't look at him until my breath shortened. Then I looked. He stopped. I held the eye contact and turned it higher and came, silent, one hand tight on the shelf, the other keeping the book steady. My face went hot. I didn't moan. I turned a page I hadn't read.

He didn't leave. He watched me do it again. The second one was meaner. My thighs shook and the chair clicked once. I shook my head, tiny, meaning don't speak. He nodded. When I could see straight I mouthed later and wrote a time on a slip I use for damaged books. He took it like I'd handed him something rare.

the open novel, my hand white on the shelf, the aisle empty except for the fact that it wasn't.
Photo: the open novel, my hand white on the shelf, the aisle empty except for the fact that it wasn't.

I went back to the paragraph. I had to read it four times. The cats will hear about none of this. The library heard nothing, which is the only review I want.